[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai pizza cats Oooh yeah!♪
♪ Who do you call when you want Some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche, He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther Who's never afraid♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis, A wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets down, down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur than any Turtle ever had!♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
Stronger than dirt.
♪ Step on their tails♪
Get off of my tail!
♪ And you're gonna get hurt♪
Don't hurt me!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town!♪
♪ Three, two, one, Pizza Cats are on the run!♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain, Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crowes♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit right back, Pick up your feet♪
♪ And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want the full effect go eat a pizza pie!♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] On the surface, life seems quite normal
in Little Tokyo.
But the air is filled by--
[Fred sneezes]
Even Emperor Fred has the dreaded seasonal cold,
and a worried Big Al has called in the big guns.
Who told Big Al it was okay to send the Marx brothers
to cure my dad?
They'll all go to Prisoner's Island.
My daddy is sitting up.
This is to certify that kung pow chicken
containing MSG may give you a headache,
therefore it is not advisable--
Big Al, look out for the weirdo!
You rang?
Thanks a lot for the warning.
He's speaking aloud back there as if he has a mind of his own.
Oh, no. He's very sick. We have to help him.
Sir, chill out.
[narrator] Now this really had Big Al worried,
as he never heard Emperor Fred say anything but, "Fred" before.
[Al] This really has me worried, as I have never
never heard Emperor Fred say anything but, "Fred" before.
[narrator] The news spread fast in Little Tokyo
that the emperor might be finding his mind.
[Al] We cannot allow this to happen.
There must be something we can do to stop this tragedy.
We've been drawn together here today.
So let's come up with some answers, shall we?
He needs a nice bowl of chicken noodles.
We tried all that.
Not the sensor, man. Oh!
Well, then. The only thing left is the cuckoo bird.
This is a bird which will make Emperor Fred cuckoo again.
Not to mention, the miracles it performs on a stuffy nose.
[narrative] And not to mention, that the cuckoo bird
lives in a cuckoo place.
Far, far away, and high on top of Mt. Cuchi,
named after some Latin singer from Ohio.
He's one cuckoo bird.
It's showtime!
We'll get the Pizza Cats.
Yeah, they've delivered meals to worse places than Mt. Cuchi.
Gee, you're good at eavesdropping.
Thanks, it's an art.
[sneezing]
I look like I'm just recovering from a nose job.
Uh, it's still all big and ugly.
Thanks, I was worried there.
Now get me that cuckoo bird
before those Samurai Pizza creeps,
or I'll never get over this lousy nose cold.
Your wish is my command.
But I just got to tell you how very cute you look
in your kimono, and how your ice pack is beginning to drip
all over the carpet.
Hi, all you boys and girls out there.
Don't worry about Big Cheesy, he's going to be just fine.
[sneezes]
Hey, there's those bubbles again.
[Speedy sneezes]
[laughs]
Hey, watch you don't sneeze on the orders.
Yeah, we'll have to charge more those extra special toppings.
And we agreed not to change the menu before going
to Mt. Cuchi.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They make great pizza But that ain't all♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need them just call♪
♪ They know how to stop crime Just do as they say♪
♪ If you don't want a bad time Stay out of their way♪
Oh, I love those cats.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ The heroes who always Wear fur♪
Oh, I think I have a fur ball.
Ready, aim, Mt. Cuchi.
I can do that.
Hey, everybody down there in the concrete,
get out of the way, 'cause the Pizza Cats are--
I don't know what rhymes with concrete.
If anyone knows what rhymes with concrete,
come and tell Francine.
Blast off.
[narrator] And the Pizza Cats are on their way to Mt. Cuchi.
I am Crablo, and I'm a guest star here on Mt. Cuchi.
[singing]
How do I get myself into these things?
I could have been at the frisky-feathered
eagle beak's convention this week.
But know, I got to march behind this instead.
Shut up already, or I'm going to tie all your arms
into little knots, you lizard!
Oh, I give up.
Hey, what do you know. I think Francine flew us
in the right direction.
Maybe she isn't feeling well.
-Let's go find a bird. -You found one, folks.
[all] It's Bad Bird.
You better watch your 'P's and 'Q's, young man,
or an 'H' will fall on your head.
See?
I order you to exit this mountain.
You can order anchovies, but you cannot order
the Pizza Cats.
Yeah? Well, I'll show you little scratchers whose boss
of this mountain.
I possess the power of Cuchi!
[Crablo] Cuchi-coo.
Huh?
Cuchi, cuchi, chuchi, coo has in the oven...
Excuse me.
Go declaw those Pizza Cats.
No, way. They're cool.
Will you listen to me?
I'm all arms.
We need those cats out of our way now.
A cute play on words, Bad Bird.
Start pressing those cat things to the ground,
or I'll be playing on your head.
-Okay, hop on. -Alright.
Here we go.
Pizza Cats surrender!
[Polly] So how's your cold, Speedy?
[Speedy sneezes]
Uh, oh, here comes the monster.
Pizza Cats surrender1
-That'll be the day. -Yeah.
-Achoo! -Gesundheit.
Faster, faster!
[sneezes]
What's that?
Hey, who turned down the lights?
-What's going on? -Speedy, did you sneeze again?
Polly! Polly! Hey, where are you?
Oh, there you are. At last, my dear.
[yells] Watch it, cat!
I don't like the view so far, Bird.
Oh, your mother eats sunflower kernels.
I don't know how to say this, baby, but you seem on edge.
Edge?
[yells]
Yeah, yeah!
Now what did you say about my mom?
You're a quack!
[gulps]
No, don't sneeze!
Bad Bird, you bundled us back to the basement
of this bad land.
I'll make it so you never sneeze again.
[yells]
Hey, you know, we don't have anything to fight about
out here.
Yeah, I guess even the kookiest bird wouldn't hang around
these parts.
[narrator] Do Bad Bird and Speedy have an understanding?
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Phew, I'm cooking like a TV dinner.
Well, I'm afraid you're going to be hot a while longer.
[narrator] No doubt, influenced by the raging heat,
Bad Bird forgot he was a bird,
and that he could fly up the mountain.
Whoa, hey!
Ha-ha, I know how to fly, huh?
Gee, it's hot.
Huh? You broke my wing off!
Now we may never get out of here alive.
-What did you say? -I could have float us
to the top of the mountain!
I wonder if they got a pizza parlor.
I'll get you a pizza parlor.
Hey, where's your sense of humor?
-Whoa, my wing! -Wait, you got the big piece.
Hey, Pol, nice to see you. Polly, I'm over here.
Oh, Guido. Do you happen to know where Speedy went?
No, but last time I saw him, he was with Bad Bird.
I'd call on some heroes to find him, but we're it.
And we're all lost.
[Crablo] Attention, great Bad Bird.
This is the great Crablo, I'm high top of the mountain.
So ahead of you. Get your feather duster
up here now!
Gee, I sure hope Speedy's alright.
-He's alright. -Huh?
Bad Bird wouldn't let anyone hurt his brother.
Bad Bird and Speedy are brothers?
It's a secret they've been keeping for years now.
No!
I would not have betrayed him, but you're his friend.
Oh!
They look alike.
No, they don't I was kidding!
You're just going to love
washing dishes for 100 years, Guido.
Boy, oh, boy. This feels good. Yep.
You know, I just can't remember the last time
I had my helmet shine.
Come on, Bird. Get your wings wet.
Very funny, very funny.
Now get out and climb.
Ta-dah! The air is so filled with flowering friends.
It does make my nose a little itchy, though.
Where's my wings? Whoa!
You're not supposed to help an enemy, you know.
Oh, that's right. Bye.
Maybe I could have said something else?
[yells]
Happy thoughts. Love to the rodents. Ciao.
[humming]
[narrator] In front of Speedy stood--No.
Before Speedy loomed a great gaping hole in the earth.
Yes, that's better. And Speedy sensed there was a purpose
for the discovery. Now that's narration.
Hm, I wonder what wonders wait within.
So do I.
Speedy and Bad Bird enter the mysterious cave
within Mt. Cuchi in search of they knew not what,
but certain that the animators have created this moment
to show off Speedy's awesome helmet light.
Wow, would you look at that soup?
Yeah, it looks like a zillion lava lamps exploded down there.
-Bad Bird. -Hm?
Under the circumstances, I think we ought to try
to be friends again.
That's quite a mature attitude, Speedy.
What have you done to me this time, cat?
It's a nightmare! I must be having a terrible dream
when I can't wake up.
It's a pretty sticky dream you're having, Bad Bird.
Now don't calm unglued.
Hey, I'm supposed to be the villain here.
Hey, what's that up there?
Cuckoo!
-It's the cuckoo bird. -Sure sounds that way.
I gotta nab that feathered fella, get him back
to the Big Cheese and fast.
[yelling]
-Hang on! We're glued tight. -Okay.
I don't want to fall!
"This glue won't stick in extreme temperature."
This cave was a volcano!
[narrator] And as the clouds parted,
the Supreme Catatonic appeared.
He opened his golden throat, and took off into the sky
like a jet soaring high.
He burped out a mighty mechanical Goonie bird
from deep within.
This hurts my claw!
[yelling]
I like these non-stop airlines.
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
I don't know how to catch this cuckoo bird.
Well, meet Mrs. Cuckoo.
You look like my beautiful Great Aunt Myna.
I always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Now where have I heard that dialogue before?
-Oh, what big eyes you have. -Go fly a kite.
How about if a kite flies me?
-Hee-hee. -Cuckoo!
Babe!
Yoo-hoo, hey, fella. You're cute.
Must be a new chick.
Look. There's Speedy.
Yoo-hoo!
-Look at that. -He looks kind of cute, really.
Coo, coo, coo.
Caw, caw, caw.
Yippy-yie-yay. Gotcha.
[yells]
Can I give you a hand?
No, I'd like a car wash.
Don't be a smart aleck.
Huh? Whoa!
I'm too cute to die.
Yee-haw!
This isn't how I planned my day.
And people think I'm the cuckoo bird.
Whoa!
No, lady. I don't want to dance with you!
Yes, this is working!
They make a lovely couple, don't you think?
Yes, they do. But I think they need a little more supervision.
-Nice shot. -I've had enough of these cats.
It's time for Crablo force!
Now we'll show them whose boss.
Andiamo!
What a belly full.
[laughs] You ain't seen nothing yet.
I think it's time to teach those Pizza Cats
about extra toppings.
Have a pepperoni supreme!
[yelling]
[yells]
That guy gives me an itch.
You could have said I really bug you, kitties.
It didn't fit my lips.
Pol, how are you doing?
Okay. Do you have a plan?
Sure do. Think stinky thoughts.
Stale kitty litter!
[narrator] And with that, the Crablo family fell away
from the cats, who only use this secret weapon
in extreme emergencies.
But before Polly had a chance to think anything,
Whoa, Guido.
I've kept it inside for so long.
What a rotten attitude.
Get them before they stink this place to the ground.
Move over bird. Where's my Ginzu sword?
I got to get this thing sharpened.
Speedy, look out, the bird!
Whoa!
Well, I'm flung out of bad ideas.
I guess it's up to us, Crablo.
-Cuchi, cuchi. -Right, let's get busy.
The day may have started out cloudy,
but Speedy's pep talks always make me a new cat.
We clobber the bad guys right in the kisser.
So you'll sleep a solid slumber,
who you going to call?
[all] The Samurai Pizza Cats.
I've had enough of this, and I think right now
I'm in the mood for a little crab meat.
[narrator] And with a swish of his magical Ginzu sword,
and the now familiar pink swirl begin to do its thing.
Boogieing up the blade, and bring to life
the special powers of Speedy's radical, and totally awesome
new crab cutter!
Geronimo!
[explosion]
I've always had tremendous respect for cracked crab.
I salute you.
Ta-dah!
We're wonderful whiskered wonders.
[both] Yeah!
-What were you doing? -Yeah, because of you,
-we lost the bird. -And you look lousy in wings!
[Al] We are glad to see you home safe.
[clucking]
But we thought the magical healing bird was a cuckoo bird.
Well, life's cuckoo that way.
Yeah, who would have thought it would be a chicken. Al?
No matter. If the emperor is cured, this episode can end.
That thing is a myna bird.
It bears a faint resemblance to your Aunt Myna.
[narrator] All of a sudden, Emperor Fred jumped to his feet,
and at once, re-lost his mind.
His daughter and Big Al were quite delighted
that all was back to abnormal.
[sneezes]
You didn't deliver the cuckoo bird to me like you promised,
helmet head.
Not as you promised.
Should have brought a chicken.
[laughs]
-Shut up! -Then die!
[explosion]
-It helps some. -Get some help.
Aw, who asked you anyway, beak face.
Ha, take a look in the mirror, buddy.
[narrator] So another day ends, leaving everyone
a little beside themselves.
Or is that up in the air?
Well, the Pizza Cats are beside themselves and up in the air.
How about a silly success story for the samurai?
[Francine] Hey, Speedy.
A friend of yours stopped by, he's up there.
-Huh? -It can't be!
Cuckoo!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Samurai Pizza Cat fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are samurai,
and I'd like to note:
their antics take your breath away
like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed.
We never call a retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh, Pizza Cat.
Please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
-we know you'll fight like-- -Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show,♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better, Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder, You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
Oh, gosh.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh, yes♪
♪ All over town♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
Read all the credits so you'll know who did the work.
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪